The first group of ADEC teachers began flying out this week. This time last week we were all frantically checking our emails. It was a flashback to my newborn days where I was up every two to four hours, this time not to feed my young but to feed my insanity. Every Facebook notification beep had me back on the computer checking to see the latest update. The thing is it was news from people as desperate as me to get a ticket, or news from the lucky few who are beginning their journey now. I was beginning to forget the importance of simply learning to let things take the natural course… to let it be.
My mood swings were horrific. One minute I was ecstatic to see that one of my friends got the ticket email; the next I was devastated that the only people emailing me were from Groupon and Travelocity. I had to remind myself that I was a high school teacher not a high school student. It was time to get off the computer and go back to living. My ticket would get here when it got here. I wasn’t planning on leaving this soon anyway. We were told first or second week of August, so what’s the rush?
I don’t know if it was the stress of the first mad ticket rush, or the effects of too much dust from all of my hiking, but right after I came to peace with not being in group one I got sick. I spent what would’ve been my last weekend here in bed. I haven’t been this sick in years, and I’m still struggling with the cold it gifted me with. If I were on a flight today, my sinuses would drive my fellow passengers and me crazy.
My oldest son, who currently lives in Colorado, is also visiting this week. He’s here for a few days just to spend some time with his mother. I cannot believe I was ready to give this up for an early ticket. He’s my trouble child… the one who always gets caught, the one who knows how to pick my last nerve, and the one I worry will never grow up. He is my constant reminder that I have to let go and let my children choose their own lives.
He’s cooking dinner tonight (and so excited to be doing this for us), which is a big deal coming from the boy who couldn’t even be bothered to take out the trash. I now see beautiful glimpses of maturity and wisdom. I’m enjoying getting to know the man my son is becoming. In such a short period of time, I went from fearing I’d be forgotten to remembering how wonderful my now is. This is the real reason we panic over our tickets. What if ours never comes? I need to embrace time even when it’s not going at the pace I’d like it to.
Everything is good and that ticket will come when it comes.